My God, I Do Love Portland

On my way into work this morning, I saw some great things.

The Made In Oregon Sign with the deer on it had a lit up Rudolph nose stuck on it.

There was the usual, wonderful “Go. By. Train.” Sign at Union Station that lights up one word at a time. This is my all time favorite Portland landmark. And I get to see it everyday on my way to work. Sadly, I can’t stare at it long enough to watch the words light up.

And then, I saw a friggin’ submarine! In the Columbia River that separates Oregon and Washington (I work in Washington). I was going over the bridge and looking out and thinking, golly, that boat seems awfully low in the water. Then I did a double take and it was a SUBMARINE!

And last, on this misty slightly foggy morning all the trees are lit up in a kind of pink-dusty purple-tangerine color and there was the silhouette of Mt. Hood all bathed in lilac and then BAM! The sun on its right looked like it had burned a hole in the sky causing an explosion of brightly lit orange clouds clustered around it, but not hiding it.

Yeah, it was all pretty damn cool. So, I’m off to design some packaging and a website. I love being a designer.

On Company and Parallels

I just heard from "the bird lady" (read: the woman who runs the adoption program where Ringo is, and whose house he is staying in currently). Ringo is doing fabulously. She says that he hasn't shown the slightest bit of anxiety and seems to be really enjoying being around all the other birds. I am so relieved. It is what I expected to happen. I've often thought that Ringo's anxiety might be lonliness.

Here is a parallel that may or may not be able to be applied to our own lives:
In BirdLand, the smaller amount of space that a bird feels is "his", the more fiercely he will guard it. If he is allowed more space to move around in on a regular basis, and perhaps autonomously, the more relaxed he is and able to cope with sharing that space with others. I'm not sure exactly how that can be applied to my life, but if you have an idea, I'd love to hear it.

Anyway, Ringo will be moving to a new foster family on Thursday (I think an older, single lady, and she had lots of birds too) where he will stay up to a year, if not permanently. The "birdlady" says that Ringo is really a very good bird and she wishes that he could stay longer with her and rub off on her other birds. Oh yeah, and she says he is talking up a storm. I am very happy for him. I do miss him, though. But, I know its for the best.

On The 9 To 5

Where to freakin' begin...

I have a new job. It is very strange. I was sitting at home one day working on phone book stuff and I got a call from some company in Vancouver, WA that found my portfolio on Coroflot.com and they were interested in interviewing me for a design position if I was interested. And, of course, I was. So, I did some research and came to the conclusion that I had no clue why this company would want me. Really, even though its been explained to me since, I still don't really get it. Check out my portfolio at bigwhistlestudios.com/ilona, then go to their site http://realityengineering.com/work/index.php

So, I got the job. I am the only female employee other than the HR person. Almost everyone there is a gamer. Dude, I work with a guy named Thor. I do have to say though that everyone is really really really nice. My first day was this last Monday. I had 2 meetings within the first half of the day, both with clients. Talk about being thrown into the fire. It was a good move on their part though-I actually really enjoyed it and think it went really well. The second day, I had a meeting with one of the programmers. I was so afraid that I was going to either a) be totally dumb about interactive stuff, b) be treated like I was dumb about interactive stuff, or c) be expected to know some really advanced stuff, at which point I would have to quit. None of these things happened. I even had some good suggestions. This phenomenon was repeated later that day when I had to go to a brainstorming meeting about a video game for Orthodontists about a new kind of braces. I was pretty much at a loss, but listened during the meeting and managed to make a couple remarkable suggestions that made everyone go, "oooh".

So, I feel pretty studdly. On Wednesday, I went in an hour early and left 2.5 hours early. It was my first experiement with what it means to be an salaried employee. I don't have to work 40 hours a week, I just have to get my work done. weird.

On the flip side, I'm finding that I really miss the people I worked with at the photo studio. I had a really good bye with the owner - he even told me to keep in touch and if I ever wanted to come back that the door would be open. But, I can't. It's less money, part-time, no benefits, contract work, and its production work vs. actually getting to be a designer. It's a no-brainer.
But, I might have to call some of them up and go out with them or invite them over.

Finally.

On The Up Swing and Plans

it doesn't quite feel like it yet, but we are on the up swing, I think. I am now working full time + and Daniel is also working full time. I am still homesick and I still friggin' love Portland. We went to a pumpkin patch on Sauvie Island this weekend (about 15 min. out of Portland) and it was AWESOME! I might of had more fun than all the kids there put together. Okay, maybe not that much. I took a hay ride and wait til we carve our 13 pumpkins. I will take pictures and post em'. Okay, we wont be carving all of them, but it'll be cool anyway.

I am still not used to working from home, but I'm starting to get the hang of it. You'd think it was a cool, awesome thing that everyone should be envious of, but I'll tell you what... it's not. You know how hard it is to focus for 8 or more hours when there are so many wonderful things to distract you? I mean, I could read, knit, watch a movie, sit on the back porch, go for a walk, etc. Yeah, its really hard. Speaking of knitting, I am actually a crochet-er, but I taught myself some basics and knit myself a pair of hideous slippers. I signed up today for a knitting class at a place 2 blocks away called the Yarn Garden, which is the best yarn shop in all of Portland (yeah, and its down the street from my house-Portland rocks). I am very excited about the class. Before that though, I am going to knit Savannah a hat and scarf. Enough of this talk.

We are having Thanksgiving at our house and I am so excited. I know you know how much I love to cook. Yeah, we'll I can't wait. I am going to try out some of the food I want to have at our wedding on our Thanksgiving guests. Yeah, I said wedding. We're thinking late June. We're thinking out-of-town guests can stay here slumber party style if they want. It's going to be at my mom's house a couple hours away. I get to have a backyard wedding like I've always wanted. It would be awesome beyond compare if our friends could be there. But, I know that its not possible for everyone. Anyway, big plans in the works y'all.

K, I gotta go cause the Matzo Ball soup is done and my babe-eh needs to have some to get better. He's gotta poop-y cold and I'ma chase it out!

And Ne'er The 'Tween Shall Meet

I am so ultimately homesick. I truly love Portland. And I really miss my friends.

On Rambling and Blubbering, really

The search is over, but only temporarily. But I won't be sending out anymore resumes for a while (which is partly inspired by the fact that my hard drive bit the dust and noooooo, I did not have it backed up!). But my surface reason is that I think I am officially employeed. I say "think" because it's all just so wierd. I will explain:

This is a two parter.

1. Apparently a person can start their own phone book. Dex doesn't have the corner market on them. This dude started a phonebook for the Northern and Central Oregon Coast (read: Astoria is included in that) a few years ago and he hired me to design the ads. The previous ads were designed by him and a few other people and wow, do they need a designer! For you design people out there imagine a heading that is -100 kerning, stretched 130% wide, stretched 110% tall, has a baseline shift of 5 pts for no apparent reason, and is a lightweight serif font with a 1.5 pt outline. The stuff is hideous. So, I am redoing them. I even find myself making large efforts to match the businesses' ads to their logos, which means finding out what the logos look like. Anyway, I work from home on this one, get a percentage of the ad cost (which works very well in my favor) and can do it full time for 5 months out of the year. I imagine that next year there won't be as many ads to re-do because they won't be nearly so appalling, so I might be working myself out of 5 months/yr and into 3. Alternatively, next year I could spread the work out and have a part-time job out of it, year round or at least 8 months or so. I work from home, have to take out my own taxes, and do as much or as little as I feel like. Yeah, its weird.

2. So, I was not at all comfortable with the situation above being my only job and I kept looking. I applied for many, many, many jobs. I got turned down for more than a few. I was called into this photo studio to take their 2 hour test (their method of weeding through resumes). I, of course, read up on everything I could get my grubbly little hands on that might relate to the test (read: I bought a book). When I went into take the test I discovered to my dismay that I had to do "knock outs" (remove the background) on three files , plus someother small tasks. I already knew how to do this, so I was aggravated that I'd studied other things so hard. But then I had to do some color matching excersize and discovered that I didn't know how to do it. I was so frustrated and sleep deprived that I almost got up and walked out. I did the best I could at making up an alternate way of acheiving the same effect and moved on. During the last 15 minutes I discovered how to do it, but it was to late to do it well, so I threw it together, made a proof sheet and left. I chalked that one up to a lesson learned and did not at all expect a phone call, which I got a few days later to come in for an interview. Shocked doesn't begin to describe it. The guy basically said that I did really good at most things and did something "wacky" with oune of them, the important thing being that they thought that I could learn. So then last Monday I had a test day at work and their one other hopeful worked on Tuesday. Last night I got a call asking me to come in 5 other days over the next 2 weeks. They never actually said, hey you got the job. We picked you! But, I think it is safe to assume now.

Did I say that it was a commercial photo studio? I worked on images for Nintendo Monday. Its part time, and from what I can tell, not super regular. I mean, I might get to work 2 days every week, those days might vary. I really am not sure. There are 2 other digital artists working there, both who have other freelance gigs and neither of whom want to work 40 hrs a week. So, I am there to take up the extra work that they can't get done. While I think there might be a minimum amount of work to expect, there may also be occasional 40 hour weeks. It does not pay as well as I'd like, and I am pretty sure there are no benefits. But, it *will* look good on my resume and it *is* work, and I *am* gaining experience.

Did I babble enough for you? What? No? Well...
I have to go now because I am taking a couple old paintings that my dad has had in his house for over 30 years to be appraised. Cool, huh? K, bye

"Oh Diana, I feel as though you have tasted the bitterness of death..."

I didn't get the job. Crazy huh? I "lost" by a very narrow margin and was the bosses first choice, though he was out voted by his two right-hand men (men being the omni-gender term). Yeah, I was and am very, very, very, very, very, very dissapointed. I promised myself not to ponder over every minute I had there and wonder where I went wrong. In fact, I have been trying to focus on the positives.

7. (yeah, I thought of this last, but it's the most important point) I was 2nd best out of 100.
1. I'll be kept in mind for freelance work if I want.
2. I finally got some real experience under my belt.
3. I *did* getr paid $800 for 1 week of work.
4. I imagine I will be considered for future positions (at least I will ask to be).
5. I don't necessarily have to design direct mail (not that I really minded, but in the end I have a bigger vision for myself.
6. I don't have to work in a "business park".

Okay, now I am grasping for strings. Anyway, the truth is that I really wanted it and could imagine myself being very happy there. But, I am sure that I could be happy in many other places also. It is doubtful that I will make would I could have been making there, at least not right away.

Peter is gone home, but it was a fun time. I wish I'd been able to be less focused on waiting for a phone call from the prospective job.

Tesch laughed, or typed a laugh, at the idea of me not being original, but I don't think I said what I mean. Daniel and I had a good talk about the whole business, (I really love this guy!) and what came out of it was that he and I both are too concerned with the making a living aspect of creating. I can't learn a new craft with out trying to imagine out 100 ways to make stuff to sell via said craft. And too frequently I find myself looking at a painting and thinking, oh I could do a woodcut with that design. I am not sure how much, if any, new ideas are in the world, and I have never been too concerned with being "inspired" by someone else's creations until recently. I dunno. I am not saying that I don't think I am original, I am saying that I don't think I spend enough energy trying to be original.

I am noy thoroughly annoyed with this topic and I'm going to go make ants on a log.

On Being A Great Artist

I go to art walks, galleries, museums, and see lots of art. I think to myself, "I can do that". But then I try, and I can't.

Lately, I have been very concerned with the idea of originality and really thinking that I lack something critical in that area.

Today I saw 6 very thick, grey, winter coat cut-outs (all different styles of coats-complete with giant white "stitching" details), slightly larger than life, suspended from the ceiling on after the other.

Today I saw puppets made from nylons, buttons, felt, that all had their own custom knitted leg/tentacle warmers.

Today I saw elegant encaustic paintings (that I thought, "I could do that").

Today I saw a very tall and thin peice of driftwood mounted onto a small wooden block. It looked like a strange creature, hand, fingers and arm reaching up to the sky.

I also saw a rooftop cabaret performance.

Oh, and I highly, HIGHLY recommend the movie, "you, me, and everyone we know" I saw that too.

I could not do that.

On Being in Limbo and Waiting

My work week is over. I think I did pretty well, but really I have NO IDEA if I'm going to get the job. NO IDEA AT ALL. And that sucks.

I should know by Friday. I did, however, leave everyone I worked with a thank you note for them to find on Monday. I bet my competitors didn't do anything like that. Anyway, for luck I am going with Peter Harold Quist and Daniel Damocles Wall to the sacred home of the Goonies tomorrow. I hope to be touched by greatness while I am there.

Love and Kisses

On Stuff and a Thousand Pages

The pishwari nan was a no-go. The bastards decided to be closed. It was poop-e but we went on many adventures after that despite being starving. We discovered this place that is 2 big warehouse buildings filled with random stuff. Do you need a desk? how 'bout a dentist's chair? Maybe you've been looking for display case like they have in jewelery stores? Or maybe it was 300 plastic hampers-the super cheap kind that you can only find in Chinese markets. Well, its all here at a place called City Salvage. And for fair prices-if you need any of that stuff. After we poked through 8 floors of STUFF! we decided to eat at a little place by our house called the Thai Spoon. As a graphic designer, I have to say it: their menu didn't at all fit the rest of the place. Just the design, not the dishes. That said, IT WAS INCREDIBLE! I ordered Tom Kha soup. Lemongrass, coconut milk, mushrooms, chicken. I was in food heaven for only $4!

As for the things I have to tell, I have forgotten already, save these couple of things:

1. I interviewed for a job a while back (almost 3 weeks ago). Out of 100 applicants, 10 got chosen for interviews and then 3 were asked to come work for a week each. Paid at $20/hr. That's $800 for one weeks work!! I am one of the three and I got first dibs on when to go, so I asked for the second or third week. I figured that way they could work out all the kinks with the first people and by the time I come along they will know all that they need to tell me right away, thereby making me more efficient. So, my week starts Monday. I have been studying up on my Quark. I bought a 1000 page book (that probably could be edited to 600) and have been ever so slowly workimng through it. I have hardly taken a break except for the last 2 days cause I got a little sick. So, if I get the job, which I am really, really, really hoping I do, I will get a nice benefits package (which hopefully includes Maternity leave) and $25/hr. Y'all, I have never made that kinda money and I am kinda flippin' out about it. My baby will quit his crappy job and paint or do what ever creative pursuit he wishes and life will be good. Okay, life already is good. Damn good I have to say. So, that is what i have been doing everyday over here. Preparing for my week.

2. You have to check out what Daniel has been doing. I think it's gorgeous!


3. I am sure there is more to tell, but I can't think of it now. We are having a bbq this weekend in honor of Pete who won't be here till the Wednesday after that. We are inviting our neighbors downstairs who seem like cool cats. Ringo has a million new pin feathers that are making him snappy, but not screamy, and still sweet. We just have to be a little careful touching him.

Okay, so I have so much to tell you all, but Daniel is hungry and we are going on a bike ride downtown to eat some of the most delicious food ever. Two words: Pishwari nan. If you come here we will eat it. (hint hint). Okay, but here is someother stuff of note. I have had a few requests for socks. The socks I had posted were all the designs I had done for my client up till then. There are more, and many have been cut out from the finals. Here is a page with links to all the socks that are going to be made. There are a couple exceptions in ladies socks: only of W6 and W7 will be made, probably W7. And W8-14 are all variations on one sock and I think she is going to pick one of the higher numbers. But to all those who wonder about it, yes the ninja sock is going to be made, and I myself will be sporting the carrot. They will take probably a couple of months to get here, but if you want one let me know. I don't know yet how much they are, but they are reasonably priced.

parent list of socks

Also, check out these bracelets my mom has been making. They are $10 each. She has like, 100 of them.

Set 1
Set 2

bye for now.

On Airports and Magazines

Perhaps you have the experience I do, and then again, perhaps not, in which case I’d say you are more fortunate than me. Let me explain: I love grocery stores. Millions of choices, exotic things to try, clean, bright, colorful, yup, I love ‘em! I shop like a child in a candy store even if I am only getting toothpaste. As a side- you know it’s somewhat similar to what I feel about airports and train stations: here are hundreds of people off doing extraordinary things. Sure you have the business guy who flies every other day, but most of the people at the airport are totally out of their normal routine and off having grand adventures, off to exciting places, to do exciting things, with exciting people -probably for the first time in their lives and maybe the only times (I love airports more than I love grocery stores). Okay back to grocery stores. As I near the completion of my grocery shopping trip I get a mix of a slight case of a sensory overload high and a sudden fear that I am going to miss something marvelous. As I am slowly corralled into the checkout aisle my eyes dart all over stopping for only a second on any given thing there and then…. then it happens: I hit the magazines and the world comes to a grinding halt: “Jennifer’s revenge-she’s smiling again”, “Marry Me! [Some guy] begs Oprah”, “10 DELICIOUS cakes under 200 calories”, “Unlock the secrets of the stars”, “Gweneth’s New Fashion Rules”, “[kid’s name] says, “I love you, Brad””, “Best Picnic Gear”, “101 Uses for Olive Oil”, “Paris hits negative five pounds!”, “Summer vacation for Brad and Angelina”, “Flatter Abs” “More Sex”, “Secrets Revealed”, I am swimming in a crystal clear, slick-coated, full color sea of 7 inch tall superstars and really good food photography! There is no grocery store, Daniel is not standing next to me, doesn’t even exist really, no one exists except me and the superstars and the food and all the knowledge that I NEED and apparently missed. But then, I did skip a lot of school.

Anyway, here is the koi fish I embroidered for my dad. Its eyes are crooked (you know, water bends light and all-I figured it would be an advantage) and its not done yet anyway. (But they eyes are staying crooked).

What the heck has everyone been doing? Its quiet as a mouse.

On Crewel Fish 

On Tesselation and Stitchery

Have you ever seen my paper collection? Its a large shallow box filled with old cards, stickers, random flyers and bits of wrapping paper, not to mention a ton of other types of..well, paper. Why does she have such a strange collection? You might well ask. You see, I love patterns. Daimonds, backgrounds, fluer-de-lis, mod squares, its a tesselation jamboree! I even did a project once where I did modern takes on some ancient patterns from around the world. And then....

Carly showed me how to embroider. Below is my first, very small piece. Carly, I love you thank you!

On Ameobas: my first embroidery design

On $83 and Billy Idol

All kinds of exciting things are planned for today. I am going to make us a roast in our new cast iron dutch oven, I am going to go buy an embroidery hoop, and I'm going to apply for a job-or freelance, or something. I've been contemplating setting a wedding date for May of 2006. It would have to be after MayDay, of course. We were even thinking that we could drive out to MN for May Day and caravan back with people who don't want to fly to Portland, but still want to come to our wedding. The small amount of research I have done so far on weddings is truly eye-opening and bizarre. All I have to say is that if you are ever thinking about it, start saving now.

Speaking of saving, I have been reading Personal Finance for Dummies and I would like to highly recommend it to ALL OF YOU. Its SO good and easy to read and SO SO SO SO important. For instance, if you saved $83 a month in a retirement account that earned 10% (which I think is about average-or amybe you have to look around for one like that) that would be $1000/yr. First, you pay less income tax because you aren't taxed on retirement savings, so that saves you money right there, but THEN, after 5 years, the $5000 you have put in is actually more like $9600 or something. After 20 years, its $44,000. That's HUGE! OKay, that said, let me say this one other thing, if you hope to ever retire you will need 65-85% of your current income. So, if you make $30,000/yr, and you want to retire at 66, you will need approx. $22,500/yr in retirement. For 20 years of retirement thats 450,000! Start putting it away yall! Anyway, get the book. Its very good. (And teaches you all about the stock market).

On Titles and Taking Notice

I didn't really say that F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote East of Eden did I? yarg! What I meant to say was This Side Of Paradise. I bet you weren't even looking. But just in case you were...

On Elephants and Books

July is my month. I know it.

Carls and Keegs left, but we had a rockin' time. I've decided that I am very jealous of Carly's awesome embroidery talents. She showed me how to embroider and now I want to add that to my list of 80 million crafts to do and love. That chick is gonna go far, I know it. When we went to the zoo we visited the lorikeets and two of them crawled on me. I was in bird heaven. But the elephant museum!!!!!!!! Oh my GOD!!! ….

Okay, so I was reading this book, Out of Africa – you may have heard of it-which is about this woman’s experience on a coffee farm in Africa. “If I have a dream of Africa, does Africa have a dream of me? Will the gravel on the drive remember the way my shadow fell across it…?” Okay, its not an exact quote, but I couldn’t find it in the book. Anyway, there is a section of the book about a young Kikuyu (the native people that live and work on the farm) named Kamante. He is different from other children in that he seems to know that he is soon to die and it has made him silent and grave. (He has a very large, oozing wound on his leg) Anyway, the author and Kamante form a special relationship after she insists that he let her help him and after her failed attempts takes him to the hospital where he heals. Okay, so it’s a very touching part of the book. There we were at the zoo, in the elephant museum, and I was looking at some Dali sketches of elephants and some other artists’ sketches of elephants and I looked at one of them and read the description. “Kamante” (I chuckle to myself at the name-look, it’s the same name as the boy in the book) Then I keep reading: (former house-boy for Karen Von Blixen, aka Isak Dinesen). I NEARLY POOPED MY PANTS! Once, I had been reading East of Eden by F. Scott Fitzgerald and it had talked about his time at Princeton a bunch. A month later I was at Princeton checking out the school and had the strange experience of thinking that I was walking in the same place that he had walked. It seemed a powerful experience at the time, but that was nothing compared to this. I have never in my whole life had a book come alive for me to that degree. It was amazing. I cried. (I’ve been doing that a lot lately, I think my hormone levels must be changing-getting older is weird).

The last couple of days have been gray which is poop-e cause it’s summer. My dad is coming this weekend and I think Peet should be here one of these days. Oh, oh, the sun is coming out! Whoo hoo.

for the birds 

Kamante's elephants 

On Lawns and Lighter Fluid

okay, these are the last of them. The first one is my own design. I drew the second. Okay, technically speaking I drew all off them. But I like the first 2.

http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W15.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W14.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W13.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W12.jpg

Anyway, so Carly and Keegs are supposed to be here in a couple days. Fun times ahead, especially if I can manage not to burn down the house with my BBQing attempts. For everyone who has sent stuff or written - thank you so much. we've enjoyed it very much. I am very behind in my "keeping in touch". Bad Ilona! There sure is a lot to do when you are unemployed. Really though! Its kinda aggravating.

Our downstairs neighbor, Ryan, waters the backyard lawn almost everyday.

On Ninjas and Carrots

this is work?

http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M1.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M2.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M3.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M4.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M5.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M6.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M7.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M8.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M9.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M10.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M11.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M12.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M13.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M14.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M15.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/M16.jpg

http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W1.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W2.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W3.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W4.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W5.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W6.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W7.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W8.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W9.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W10.jpg
http://www.bigwhistlestudios.com/socks/W11.jpg

so, Daniel drew some of these, anything I drew was meant to look like what my client wanted. But yeah, this is what I have spent the last 2 days doing. God, its good to play "designer" again.

the ninja and the carrot rock!

On Socks and "Current" Events

I feel like the world’s biggest dipshit. After applying for quite a few jobs I just noticed that my resume says that I “currently” work at Old Chicago in Minneapolis and that I am “currently” interning at Ai Minnesota. I could pull my hair out!

On a happy note: I am now designing socks. Actually, I am drawing out someone else’s ideas and putting them on a sock template to be sent to Korea to be made. Who knew? http://www.sockittomesocks.com/

On Death and Flying

Be ye warned.
If you are less than 1” in diameter.
If you possess wings.
If you make noise as you pass.
If you are in the same room as me.

I have a long, bright blue, all-powerful* plastic fly swatter and YOU WILL DIE!

count so far:
Wasps: 2
Regular Flies: 1, 1 in progress
Small Biting Flies: 1

*there is a small cut-out in my fly swatter in the shape of a fly. You might get lucky.

On Strawberries and Lack of Money

Today I am feeling a bit low. Looking for a job is just not fun. I know this is not news. I feel like I am 85% networking like a mo-fo. The opportunities are few and far between and usually for really random stuff. I think Big Whistle Studios may have to open shop and do freelance. I know that may sound exciting, but it’s more scary than anything else.

On another note...I made strawberry salsa with the reddest strawberries I have ever seen. They were solid red all the way through. And sweet as can be. We are having fish tacos tonight. Tacos are one of the best foods ever invented.

I really miss my friends and I really miss my Daniel. This 40-hour workweek is for shit. Poop-E.

my lovely red worms 

On My Love of Bathtubs

There I was...
nice summer morning, windows and doors open, sunlight spreading itself across the wood floor. Suddenly the air was filled and I had to rush to the window to poke my head out. There on the street below I spied a pair of long-white socks with little tassels thru the trees. Then a skirt, then I saw the tops of the bagpipes. THERE WAS A DUDE IN FULL PIPING-GARB PLAYING THE FRIGGIN' BAGPIPES ON MY STREET!!!! (shrug) Nothin'...he was just walking around in front of his house playing. Well, of course I cheered loud enough for him to hear when he finished his first set. Yes, first of many. He played for 2 or 3 hours. How much better could life get? Well, I'll tell ya. This glorious serenade was interrupted by my doorbell (which is somewhat obnoxious). When I got to the bottom of my stairs a precarious package sat before me. It was none other than my worms. My sweet red wigglers. I had to order these babies. I guess you can’t just go and buy worms at the store or nursery, or any freakin’ where for that matter. I eagerly opened the box to find a plastic tub with a bunch of little holes poked in it. The instructions said not to open it just to look at the worms. Like givin’ a kid a lollipop and telling him not to lick it. COME ON PEOPLE! I WANNA SEE MY WORMS! I imagined a tub of slimy red worms writing and wriggling and twisting around each other and damn it! I wanted to see it. Well, I resisted. First things first, I told myself. I got out the bin I made a couple weeks ago and emptied it. I had bought, along with the worms, some strange coconut “bedding” which arrived in the shape of a brick. I was to soak it and it would expand 9 times it size. Well, of course I thought (as I think about nearly everything), “I’ll just throw it in the bathtub”. I love my bathtub. I have almost always had good tubs. And if anything can be cleaned by throwing it in the tub, well, damn if that’s not the way I would do it. I dye fabric in the tub, give large plants a shower when they get dusty, I’ve done laundry and dishes in the tub. I throw Ringo in the tub all the time. I LOVE MY TUB! Today, however, I wished that “throw it in the tub” was not my first instinct, because it was not pretty. That coconut brick didn’t just expand. It expanded and fell apart. Instead of having a very large, wet brick, I had brown soup. I had to use a tea sieve to try to corral the millions of little tiny coconut pieces. Okay, so now the bedding is in the bin, along with a bunch of shredded newspaper and phone book pages. It turns out that our paper here, the Oregonian, uses soy-based ink (how very Portland of them, don’t you think?) Who knows, probably all newspapers do. Finally the moment came when I could unveil the worms. So I did. Nothing. Just a bunch of dirt. Grrrrrr. I dumped the bucket upside down on the bedding and lo’ and behold! there they were. A bunch of skinny red worms. Within minutes they had all disappeared down into the bedding. Tomorrow they will dine on their first veggie-scrap cocktail.

I love worms. And my tub.

And bagpipes.

On Whistling and Cooking Meat

In the early days of my youth I took quite a liking to whistling. Not my own, for I was without the knowledge or skill, but to other peoples'. It tickled me pink to see an old man walking down the street whistling to himself. What greater proof of the possibility of happiness exists? (Ice cream comes to mind, but I think that's more a cause of happiness than evidence.) Being pragmatic, I assumed that if I could whistle surely everyone would think I was happy also. I mean, I was happy, but now everyone would know it. So, I attempted to learn. I asked everyone, I tried to disseminate the mechanics while watching actors in movies, I even tried to read about. To no avail. No matter how pursed my lips were or what position my tongue was in, I simply couldn't whistle. What came out instead was a kind of pathetic wheeze completely lacking in any semblance of tune. I also can't snap my fingers, but if you've ever seen my fingers you may suspect, as I do, that they are simply inadequate in size or heft or bone-age to achieve the task. Anyway, at 18 I gave the whistling thing one last stab. I asked my boyfriend (who came from a whole family of talented whistlers) how to whistle. He explained and less than a minute later I was off. I'm not talking Beethoven, but I can indeed whistle. I won't try to explain what he told me, but let to suffice to say that my years of inferiority were simply a matter of someone explaining in a way that worked for me. More than ten years later, a very similar thing has happened. Three days ago I cooked steak that was edible. A simple thing, so I've been told. But for some reason, both Daniel and I have been heretofore incapable of cooking a decent slab of meat. Not that we haven't tried. I've even bought the most expensive cuts I can find, asked the butcher how to cook it, asked my mother AND my grandmother (both remarkably good cooks, and Jewish mothers (which pre-disposes them to knowing how to do just about anything). To make a long story shorter, I simply followed a recipe exactly. Voila! I can whistle and cook meat. I bet I could even do them at the same time if needed. I am very proud.

my baby got a job